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mom moment

we all have blue eyes
their mom
them
me
i like going to the grocery store with her because when she walks away
people come up to me and say
"oh my goodness they look just like you!"
and
"oh! they have your eyes"
and i get to pretend for a moment
that i'm a mom
and it's over
before they scream and cry
before the tantrums
before the moment i regret having kids

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Posted by

New Fear

The fact that you stopped loving me
When you stopped drinking
Makes me worry
About my likeability.
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Posted by

Crowd Dead

I enjoy structured play about as much as I enjoy structured time,
So it is that my time as a guest is so concretely
moulded round the gym,
or a swim or I swim to a restaurant,
and then the bits in between I catch up on
the golden age,
I'm formed round the bus timetable
or I'm a limpet to the bed,
clean towels, check.

Less of a gracious host,
the homebody without a comforting way
to relay the neighbourhood,
and its many warm
winter lights
and where is the frost
anyway
and its glow within
glassy, diffused.
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kripplebush

yes it was spring
    remember when david saved us?
we circle back to this day

    when we cut our jeans to make shorts on the first warm day
in rare lulls when we are together
    then we had like no pants left 
we plunged into the mud
    for the rest of the winter
we tie ourselves together 
    kathleen you went in first
with a day
    no it was me
i have no independent memory of
    well nina got stuck and was balling of course
just the ruts of retelling
     i was not!
a clamoring of voices
    monie was stoic like always
editing each other
    practically pushed david away
adding up to a tapestry    
   heather you thought you were going to rescue us
that in the end 
   yes yes but i got stuck after two seconds
is as rich as the day
   he plucked us up one by one
and i can see the sun through the bare branches
   and left us safe
just like it must have been
   on the dry gravel driveway
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Xmas Lights


one day
these xmas lights 
wont be here

the trees will be 
stripped bare
this electric blue 
that performs for me now
will be no longer dancing 

on my walks home
there will be 
no reason to look up
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I love You

*this poem is greatly inspired by poet Yesika Salgado’s poem of the same name. I loved her poem and wanted to play with the same format in regards to my own feelings about love. Please read Yesika’s beautiful poems! 

The last words I spoke to my father were, “Goodnight. I love you.” I was raised to end every phone call saying I love you.
To leave the house saying I love you. When you meet my family for the first time, you’ll see what I mean. It is like breathing, saying I love you. I’m going, I love you. You’re leaving, I love you. I’lI drive you, I love you. I’ll pick you up, I love you. Don’t forget to call your mom, I love you. I made tea, I love you. My feelings are hurt, I love you. Come kiss me all better, I love you. I’m listening, I love you. Day dreams about your face, I love you. Cute pictures of you on Instagram, I love you. We are at a party and I want to leave with you, I love you. I’ll wait to watch that movie we both want to see, I love you. You send me a funny meme about Leos, I love you. We are doing this together. This practice we call love. I love you. We make love a living breathing animal we can never tame, but love all the same. We make love a mountain of little things. Of it matters. Of I love yous. 
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Posted by nah
Can’t let the thumbprints 
of happiness
transmute to 
assault 
can’t be dark sand
collected in crevice
fight for freedom 
then feel the lonesomeness 
of that
that’s life
Sinatra bullhorn
echo echoes 
dark wave strong wind
new acids 
free + lonely
lonely + free 
confused about freedom tho
you thought it was empty rooms - 
no preference - 
eggs vs. pancakes - 
no, it’s a skin thing
a weightlessness 
just think of 
those spirits 
and hope 
to learn
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